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Plan Your Day

Plan Your Day Early, and Away From the Computer

• Before you are about to begin using a computer is the time when you will be most in control. Use this time wisely to establish yourself in productive ways for the day.

• Keep as much of your diary, to-do lists, and other important planning information offline as possible. Use hard-bound diaries, iPhones, and other organizers to maintain a distance. You might wish to print off instructions such as these.

• If you need to, go to a park, cafe, or somewhere else away from a computer, to help gain further perspective.

• Establish and write down the most important things to achieve, for that day.

• Place your job list in a spot that is clearly visible from wherever you are working.

• Decide in advance how much time you will be using the computer, and when you will cease using it. Turn your computer off completely when not required for your work. Setting an alarm for this time can be useful — just make sure you set the alarm in a distant room, so you can’t merely jump up to turn it off.

• Most of us need to check our emails early in the day, to see what needs to be done. We rarely need to re-check it that day, as 24-48 hours is an acceptable time to reply. Make a conscious decision only to check your emails once (or more if required) during the day.

• Consider a separate email account for fun emails, subscriptions, and other non-work activities. Set aside the end of the day for any further looking at these, as well as forums, games, online networking, and other likely addictive online activities.

[http://computeraddiction.org/plan-your-day]

On Vacation?

For quite a while I have been in quite a difficulty to describe my status. Why? Because, on one hand, my dad is always telling me "You are on a neverlasting vacation!". And I never argue with him, because I feel he is somehow right. On the other hand, my day is always so full, regardless whether it's Monday or Saturday or summer or winter! There is no difference in my head between weekdays and weekends, no difference between school time and summer vacation. Really. Months, days, seasons, they really make no difference to me. The only thing that matters is the year we're in, because I usually plan things this way ("Next year in September I'm gonna go to the UK").

Fortunately, today, while drinking juice, the solution to the paradox came to my mind:
I do feel on a permanent vacation! And this is because I do only things that I like, and things that I planned to do on my own. Yes, it's a big deal and I know many people would wish to have that luxury. Actually, I'm not sure it's a type of luxury you get born with (or not), but rather the one you create, by refusing to do all things that you are not passionate about. Just like Sartre suggested, I feel I do have the liberty to exit, to choose not to do a thing.

We live our daily lives doing things because "we must". But if you really analyse the things you must do, and their source, you arrive to two conclusions: it was either a duty derived from something you chose to do or to achieve (ex. you must meet X today because you promised you would); or it was a duty imposed by someone whom you consider important and you project their expectations upon you - like your parents, your boss, your professors. You must pass an exam because your parents expect you to get a college degree. You must be on time at work because your boss expects you to do so. You must step outside your own shoes, think out of the box: are those expectation REALLY that important? Aren't there other ways of fulfilling them, with less effort or frustration? Once you start giving them relative importance, you find a way to not see them as a "must" anymore, but rather one of the multiple ways you could achieve an expected result.

In the past I analyzed this kinds of duties and their source. Today, every time I say (to myself or out loud) that I must do something, I know that it is so because at one point I wanted to get to this point, or I let it happen. Maybe there are short-term frustrations, but it really makes me feel that everything I do I do it because I wanted to.

What a wonderful feeling!

Exercise: try to describe one expectation that you now identify as external, imposed on you by others, but you actually deem it very important (you internalised it)!

Recharging...

Simt ca mi-am atins linistea mult-visata. Si desi asta nu inseamna niciodata sa-nu-facem-nimic-24-din-24, ci inseamna intotdeauna lucruri mici (spalat pe dinti, cumparat paine, un suc cu prietenii), acele lucruri mici care iti umplu existenta de zi cu zi dar nu o incarca. Simt ca o mare presiune a disparut parca din senin. Ma dezumflu si e placut. Dorm mult si linistit, citesc o carte buna, imi pierd vremea cu joculete pe internet, mananc o piersica, scriu un entry in blog.

Poate cel mai placut este ca acum simt ca pot sa dau telefon unui prieten vechi, sa ii spun zambind din toata inima ca imi e dor de el/ea, ca mi-ar placea sa ne vedem si sa recuperam toate zilele alea care au trecut navalnic si agitat pentru fiecare din noi. Ne intalnim, ne imbratisam, ne asezam la o masa, cu cate o limonada in fata, ne e cald. Ne povestim ultimele succese, ne impartasim dramele. Intotdeauna filosofam un pic. Acestea sunt clipele in care ne detasam, privim mai relaxati lucrurile care s-au petrecut in ultimul timp si tragem concluzii pe care altcumva nu aveam vreme si rabdare sa le tragem. Tragem linie si privim in viitor.

Mai surprinzator este insa ca de cate ori ating aceasta stare de relaxare, ma umplu de energie, energie pozitiva, pentru un nou inceput. Mi se pare paradoxal, sincer!, ca dupa ce astept cu atata ardoare sa scap de stres si deadlineuri si chestii de facut, ajung instantaneu, printr-un moment de detensionare, sa fiu gata sa o iau de la inceput. Cu lucruri noi, cu lucruri pe care le proiectezi atunci cand iti spui "ah, ce mi-ar placea sa fac asta cand oi avea timp!".

Un curs de parasutism suna bine. Si m-as apuca si de olandeza. Tae bo sau tai chi? Cartea lui Sacks ma asteapta de mult timp in raft. Si El ma asteapta sa ma vada vesela si senina si iubitoare asa cum ma stie. Si marea ma asteapta, sarata si racoroasa asa cum o stiu de atata timp.

Deci, what next?

Frica de plecare si 21 de ani

m-am intors in Bucuresti. mi-e dor de vant si de valuri. i feel sick. sunt slabita, de maine voi avea meningita (pretentiile americanilor astora ma imbolnavesc).

de cand am implinit 21 de ani sunt foarte fricoasa. se apropie clipa in care imi fac bagajele. sunt o groaza de lucruri de luat. imi tremura pantalonii pe mine de frica. cred ca de-aia ma simt si asa slabita fizic.

[pana acum eram super relaxata. stiam ca toate lucrurile importante sunt deja aranjate, ca trebuie sa ma ocup doar de detalii. acum am ajuns in stadiul in care fiecare detaliu mi se pare important si nu trebuie sa-l uit.]

ah, uitasem: de ziua mea m-am simtit extraordinar. le multumesc tuturor celor care mi-au fost aproape, cu prezenta sau cu telefonul sau cu semeseul. mi-am facut toate poftele, am fost inconjurata de prieteni, am dansat si am reusit sa nu ma matolesc :). ii multumesc lui mami si lui tati ca m-au nascut si ca au fost (si sunt) niste parinti extraordinari (P.S. ma aflu intr-unul din putinele momente din viata cand EFECTIV NU-MI MAI DORESC NIMIC, simt ca am tot ce mi-as putea dori). multumesc lui Razvan ca a fost si este alaturi de mine cu toata dragostea lui. Ya tyebya lyublyu. ii multumesc Monicai pentru ca o simt ca vegheaza asupra mea de undeva de departe, desi mi-as dori sa-i simt prezenta mai des.

Ii multumesc lui Dumnezeu.

Puhoi de Vama

salutari din Vama.
e oribil de cald. de azi, de cand a venit puhoiul. am numarat 273 de grupulete care au tot intrat in vama de ieri seara. nu pun la socoteala mertanurile bengoase.
nu reusesc sa ma bronzez deloc. se implinesc 10 zile de cand tot stau la soare si reusesc sa ma ard, sa ma cojesc, dar nici vorba de vreo culoare mai interesanta. (this is not an interesting topic)

azi e ultima zi in care am 20 de ani. maine voi imbatrani brusc. mi se vor accentua ridurile, mi se va accentua cocoasa, imi vor atarna pieile pe mine, voi lua pastile. la anul de-abia imi vor cadea dintii.

ma bucur mult ca unii prieteni au venit special in vama, azi, ca sa putem sarbatori impreuna. este un gest care pentru mine conteaza enorm.

pa, ma duc la plaja. diseara e concert urma in b52.