10 sfaturi despre cum sa organizezi o petrecere ratata

10 sfaturi despre cum sa organizezi o petrecere ratata:

1. Fii sigur ca inviti oamenii la petrecere nu mai devreme de ziua respectiva;

2. Nu te lasa tras in piept: cine nu aduce un cadou (suficient de misto) nu are ce cauta la petrecere!

3. Invita de preferinta prieteni care nu se cunosc intre ei, sau daca se cunosc, sa fie cei care nu se sufera unul pe altul;

4. Pune numai muzica pe care o preferi tu, indiferent de ce zic invitatii - poate asa le educi gusturile muzicale;

5. Nu servi alcool; nu e sanatos si nu ajuta cu nimic dinamicii de grup;

6. Ghideaza-te dupa principiul "daca invitatii au nevoie de ceva, se descurca ei

7. Asigura-te ca esti intotdeauna in centrul atentiei (ca doar e petrecerea ta!)

8. Invit-o pe bunica la petrecere, si pune-o pe scaunul cel mai apropiat de boxe;

9. Asigura-te ca volumul muzicii e suficient de tare incat sa stie si vecinii ca organizezi o petrecere; iar daca indraznesc sa-ti vina la usa sau sa te ameninte ca suna politia, pune-i la punct!

10. Fii realist! Daca un prieten nu se distreaza, este pentru ca e un tampit. Tu ai facut cea mai misto petrecere cu putinta.

Succes!

Sunscreen

Thanks to Andrei, I listened to an amazingly invented graduation speech, and I dedicate it to everyone. Here is the transcript.


"Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen."

Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune, June 1st 1997

Umor american

Cea mai cunoscuta figura de stand-up comedy. Daca reusiti sa treceti peste o anumita jena, you may actually enjoy it.
Cea mai simpatica mostra de Lisa Lampanelli (si nu Minelli!): partea 1 si partea 2

Addendum: Am gasit partea 3 si partea 4.

American dancing

Am vazut un videoclip pe internet si am simtit nevoia stringenta sa va impartasesc modul in care americanii stiu sa danseze (pe rap si r&b, singura muzica pe care o asculta).

Check this out! A-ha, a-ha, click it on!...
http://www.comedycentral.com/sitewide/media_player/play.jhtml?itemId=81349

Consumerism!

Am vrut sa-mi dezactivez serviciul de inchiriat filme NetFlix (pentru ca maine imi expira perioada de free trial). Si uite ce mesaj disperat primesc! Cum sa refuzi consumerismul?...

Lucruri inutile pe care le poti cumpara in SUA (1)

• Firefly phone for Girl/Boy - stay connected with your kids!
• Give the gift of a healty heart - Heart Function Monitor reads your heartrate from your thumb!
• Finally... Walking in Ski Boots made easy, safe & confortable; aligns and centers the body!
• Ski-shuttle - The easiest way to get to the slopes!
• Panasonic noise-canceling headphones - for flights
• Gravity-defying boots
• The voice-activated R2-D2
• The children's ATM bank - helps children learn money management!
• The pet staircase - helps pets climb to furniture
• The peaceful progression wake-up clock
• The upside-down tomato garden
• The precise portion pet feeder - automatically dispenses precise food portions so that your pet follows recommended diet!
• The safest hidden-wires electric blanket
• The instant whirpool bath - transforms bath tub into a whirpool spa!
• The high-capaciy portable teeth cleaner - Our water jet dental cleaner has 80% more water capacity in its self-contained reservoir!
• The classic English heated towel stand
• The best wireless home intercom system!
• The million-germ-eliminating travel Toothbursh Sanitizer
• The wearable blanket
• The original sleep sound generator
• The laser-guided pool cue
• The marshmallow shooter
• The casement window bird feeder - it allows you to watch birds from indoors without disturbing them!
• The crushable pocket-sized shearling hat; unlike other hats that wrinkle and lose their shape when crumpled in a tote bag, this supple hat retains its shape no matter how many times it's rolled or folded!!
• The advanced large-capacity feline drinking fountain - it continually circulates water!
• The heated vest - uses carbon fiber technology powered by compact and unobstrusive rechargeable BATTERIES!!
• Electronic pants presser
• The remote control golf ball
• The television interactive snowboarding simulator
• The portable 48-second water purifier
• The snow flurry projector - rests on your front lawn and transforms the entire facade of your house into an illuminated snowscape with no need to hang lights!
• Secret security Camcorder hidden in a clock
• Hidden wireless GPS secretly tracks anything that moves - your car or your kid... or your kid in your car!
• Turbo-Groomer Cobalt - the blades whirl at an impressive 6000 RPM to gently and effectively trim nose hair
• Alcohawk Blood Alcohol Content Breath Screener - for personal use!

(to be continued)