The one

From now on I will write my blog in English. The language of my thought is not a language of this world. But now my experience in United States has ended, and my new life in Romania has begun. I somehow believe that, if it makes any sense in writing in this blog any longer, it has to be done in a new way. Maybe there are some English-people in this world who would find useful some thoughts about life in Romania, about the life of a Romanian girl. Otherwise, why wouldn't I write my thoughts in a diary, keep them under my pillow? I hope my sharing would sometime do some good. And I'm sure those Romanians who are still curious won't have problems in reading it from now on either.


I thought today about THE ONE.
I'm constantly searching for the one. All of us who found the one at one point in life know that you JUST KNOW when you found the one. It strikes you like lightning. It's no simpler than that. You JUST KNOW.
But when you're still searching... there comes the problem. Because you never know exactly how the one is like. You have some limits. You have some directions. You have a sketch, some rough portrait of what you're looking for. It's drawn by experience. By what worked before and what failed to fit. By what you learned it's good for you, by what you accepted in spite of all recommendations. The problem is not with the draft (actually, there could be a lot of problems with it, but that would be too much to discuss now..). The problem is that if the portrait has too elements, then you are capricious. You will most probably not find what you search for. You have high standards. You are a planner. Familiar expressions? Yep, that's how people call it. And when you allow no room for chance, chance will not help you. It's entirely your job to find what you're looking for. But let's say you leave some to chance. The drawing is incomplete and leaves room for the unknown, for the surprise. For fate.
Here's my issue. If you don't feel that he's the one, is it because he's not, or because he just doesn't fit the portrait you made? How important is that percent that you leave to the unknown? Can this percent overturn all other well thought, very clear, characteristics? I have no answer to this question. What if there is no lightning?
I'm a fan of lightning :). It happened to me before, and I await impatiently to struck me again. Maybe this would be easier for me. I will JUST KNOW he's the one. But what if things are not so simple? What if I don't get lucky? What if the one comes, and I don't see it, just because I cannot accept that what he is nullifies my draft?
I hope that at this point intuition and luck come into play. I say luck, but I could as well call it fate.

A very important thing to realize, when you have the belief that the one in front of you is not what you're looking for: you cannot say that he wasn't enough for you. I strongly believe this is a big mistake. He is just different. The cube didn't fit into your round shape. But it will surely fit perfectly into another shape. And yet it was all about the corners..

(to be continued)